D Day

"You do?"

"I wish I didn't, but I do."

He nodded a bit. "...well, okay then." he told her. "Do you even want to be married to me anymore?" he asked and figured he would rub her back since he had the oil in his hands, lol.

"Am I not still here?" She asked. "All the stuff we went through earlier this year, I'm still here, but you keep asking me that question." She said. "I told you that I am not going anywhere and I don't want a divorce. You don't want a divorce. Or maybe you do, I don't know." she shrugged. "If I did want one, you would know. Trust me. I just think there is no romance in this anymore. There is no intimacy. I'm not talking about weekend getaways and expensive gifts or whatever else. I'm just saying that I think we've hit a stalemate. For fuck's sake, we don't even sleep in the middle of the bed anymore, you sleep on your side and I sleep on mine. I feel like.. my parents." she snorted.

"You and me both." he said. "No, I don't want a divorce." he told her. "I know I always ask and I know that you're still here." he said. "I guess I'm just scared. Scared that one day you'll realize I'm not good enough for you anymore and that you'll leave me for good. I just feel like a failure when it comes to being a good husband. Like I didn't live up to your expectations and made this a really shitty marriage."

"I know I made you feel that way with Roman and I don't know how many times I have to tell you I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I'm sorry for going to him in the first place." she shook her head. "I didn't sleep with him, I told you that, but maybe that's what ruined me for you." she said. "Maybe that's what killed the intimacy."

"Lacy." he shook his head. "Even though I was upset about it for a while, it didn't ruin you for me. I still do want you."

"It doesn't feel like it. I know you love me but sometimes I feel like you're so rough with me when we're together because you'd rather just get it over with. And I know I ask for it a lot of the time, but.. eh. I don't know. I'm rambling." she said. "I ruined your plans for the day. I do that a lot." she shook her head and sat up.

"I didn't even realize I was being rough." he said. 'I'm sorry."

"It's not that I didn't like it." she said. "You clearly saw that." she snorted a little. "I just assumed after a while that that was all we would do."

He nodded. "I understand now that I'm hearing it from your point of view." he said. "I wasn't like that because I wanted to get it over with. Psh, we would keep going." he chuckled a bit. "I don't know why I was being like that. Sometimes you did ask for it and I don't know, maybe I figured you wanted it that way or something."

"I guess it doesn't matter now, huh?"

"Yeah, guess not." he said and kept from letting out a sigh. "Well...do you still want the massage? Or is that pretty much over?"

"I would have thought I killed the mood." she said. "If you still want to though, I guess I can't stop you."

"Nah, you didn't kill the mood." he told her. "I want you to relax anyway." he shrugged.

"I know you had a plan of how this evening would go and I'm pretty sure talks of divorce and lack of intimacy were not apart of it." she said.

He shrugged. "It's okay. You can't get what you always want and I'm not about to try and do anything intimate if you're not into it."

"If you were sincere about it then yes I would be. I just don't want you to feel like you have to do something with me because I complained about it."

"I was sincere about it, Lace." he said.

"I just don't want you to feel like you -have- to do anything."

"The minute I found out I was cleared, I wanted to take our time tonight and just be able to make love to one another. Not just fuck."

She looked at him. "Really?"

"Really." he nodded. "It's why I'm just taking my time and want to enjoy being with you first. We don't have to rush into it at all. We have time."

She nodded a little and took a breath. "so make your move."

He looked over at her and reached over to brush some of her hair behind her hair. He then stroked her cheek and cupped it as he leaned in to kiss her.